IMPORTANT POINT
The court emphasized that the welfare of the child is paramount in custody disputes, and children should not be subjected to court appearances unless necessary.

JUDGMENT :

Devan Ramachandran, J.

Parental conflicts are not mere legal matters; they are reflections of interpersonal problems between couples, which require interpersonal solutions.

2. Unfortunately, it are the children involved, who are forced to share or bear the dysfunction that occurs in such scenario; exacerbated by the often noticed fact that their interests are seen with less priority by the parents, as they deal with the emotional and psychological side to it.

3. Often, in the maelstrom of emotions, the children are sometimes forgotten; and this can be devastating for them and leave scars on their psyche permanently.

4. Husband and wife can and may fight; but one cannot fathom how they, as parents, can fight.

5. Husband and wife can be separated or divorced; but, as parents, their bond is interminable, till death part them.

6. Unfortunately, this is lost to most couples in matrimonial strife.

7. Children who see hostility between parents are shown to have lower satisfaction levels in their own relationships in future; with some reporting negative views on family structures, marriage and relationships in general.

8. It is also well documented that smaller children who have gone through high conflict of their parents are less able to solve problems, negotiate interpersonal relationships and have higher levels of social anxiety. They are also known to experience higher fear of abandonment and rejection – which may lead to traits of Complex Trauma and Personality Disorder.

9. The Hon’ble Supreme Court, in Lahari Sakhamuri v. Sobhan Kodali [2019 KHC 6335] has spoken lucidly on the travails of children caught in the cross fire of their parents conflict ut infra:

“52. Divorce and custody battles can become quagmire and it is heart wrenching to see that the innocent child is the ultimate sufferer who gets caught up in the legal and psychological battle between the parents. The eventful agreement about custody may often be a reflection of the parents’ interests, rather than the child’s. The issue in a child custody dispute is what will become of the child, but ordinarily the child is not a true participant in the process.

While the best-interests principle requires that the primary focus be on the interests of the child, the child ordinarily does not define those interests himself or does he have representation in the ordinary sense.

53. The child’s psychological balance is deeply affected through the marital disruption and adjustment for changes is affected by the way parents continue positive relationships with their children. To focus on the child rights in case of parental conflict is a proactive step towards looking into this special situation demanding a specific articulation of child rights.”

10. The prologue above is written since, somewhere along the line, when dealing with the increasing numbers of matrimonial issues, courts – not deliberately, but in the quest to maintain expedience and for lack of adequate time – many a time, tend not to look at the plight of children with the requisite empathy. The parents – consumed by their personal emotions – invariably overlook the trauma of the children and fight for their custody and other arrangements, with vigour and passion, often unseen in other type of litigations.

11. The distressing repercussion is that children are forced to attend Courts many a times, disturbing their lives and education, even when they have had no contribution to the conflict between their parents and being tenebriously trapped in a scenario, over which they have no control or escape.

12. As we will explain presently in the paragraphs to follow, children loathe appearance in courts – which they have unreservedly told us in several cases -